| truuue? |
[Oct. 20th, 2006|10:53 am] |
 | You scored as Red. Just like Red, you fit most catergories. Red can be used to describe danger, and danger is what you are all about. You possibly tend not to follow the rules, are not afraid of most things and know exactly what you want. Red can also be described as the colour of 'love' and this is your weakness. You are an absolute sucker for romance and your usual stubborn shell falls when in the presense of someone you like. You are passionate, beautiful and alluring to the eye.
Purple | | 83% | Red | | 83% | Pink | | 72% | Blue | | 67% | Green | | 67% | Orange | | 61% | Yellow | | 56% | Black | | 39% | White | | 39% | </td>
Which Colour Represents You???
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| goodbye apathy.. |
[Oct. 15th, 2006|10:40 pm] |
oftentimes, i haaaaaaaate my life.
a lot of times, i am happy so much, that there aren't words to describe it. [and haha. for no reason. there aren't so many reasons that i would be happy. sometimes i just manage to be. i dunno. i love to laugh.]
but every single moment, whether i'm happy or sad or angry or what,
i'm at least happy that i have MY life.
i happen to like it despite all the other things......
=], right?
i do happen to be very mad and very sad and very lonely, very often.
but. i'll work on that.
p.s.........!!! i want a camera! i guess it's close enough to christmas to wait for it.
but. i can't wait.
i have a trillion great times that i need to take pictures of.
xoxoxoxo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|03:55 pm] |
i miss being happy.
nobody gets it. i'm sure people understand being lonely and sad.
but..
nobody gets how things are and how i react to them.
i fucking hate people. you know who you are. i have real hatred in me.
i guess that makes ME the bad person,
when i'm bitter about getting fucked over time and time and time againnnnnnnn.
it's getting old, no joke. seriously. it isn't enjoyable.
i don't like things.
no matter how cheerful i am, because i really do have fun with most everything i do...
i'm miserable in this situation.
fucking comment.
see what i say back. |
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| it's me. no lie. |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|10:10 pm] |
Your Existing Situation
Seeks a close and understanding bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy, as a protection against anxiety and conflict.
Your Stress Sources
Resists any form of pressure from others and insists on her independence as an individual. Wants to make up her own mind without interference, to draw her own conclusions and arrive at her own decisions. Detests uniformity and mediocrity. As she wants to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions, she find it difficult to admit to being wrong, while at times she is reluctant to accept or understand another's point of view.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels she is receiving less than her share, but that she will have to conform and make the best of her situation.
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.
Your Desired Objective
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.
Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.
Your Actual Problem #2
Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|01:13 pm] |
sooooo.
nobody reads this.
lol.
so pretty much i'm gonna say exactly what i want to.
jesus christ. there's one more week until school starts,
i'll be a JUNIOR. this is the 06/07 schoolyear.
and i graduate in 07/08.
jesus h. christ that is ridiculous.
next summer I'LL be the one getting my senior pictures taken.
and choosing colleges.
and all that stuff.
wow.......................!
like.. it's so hard to imagine that the people that were sophomores when i was a freshman are now about to graduate! and i'm older than they were when i first met them. my perspective is just so off.
sooo.. two more years at westlake. and while it is for the most part, boring as hell, and full of people that i can't stand to be around and experience all their bullshit... i'm not aching to get out of here anymore. i plan on having two really fucking fun years. lol.
last year sucked major dick. all i wanted to do was leave. but... i'm still getting past everything that has happened in the last 16 months or so........ and. it's been hard. i'm not a "strong" person. i give into things easily. and i am hopelessly hopeful. but.. whatever man. i'm getting over shit. it's hard for me.
but i'm working on it.
but i no longer want to put my high school years on fast forward.. i just want to enjoy living with my parents (haha. not like i enjoy it. i mean.. i'll enjoy free room & board.) lol. and get in trouble, or get away with everything. i don't want to be serious right now. somebody dick around with me.. somebody join me in my adventures... lol.
and. on a sadder note. i think it is one of the most GAY things you can do... let high school relationships sway decisions that will affect the rest of your life.
go to college together?
room with your best friend?
lollllll. i dunno. i'm cynical. i understand wanting to stay in touch with quality people and everything. the whole "comfort zone" stuff. but.
i guess there just aren't several people that i would really be upset about it if i just lost touch with them. i mean.. good luck to them and everything. but it seems that i'm not even close with my "friends".. i float around doing whatever i feel like.
some of it's fun.
some of it's lonely.
hahahh.. and if you guys DO read this. i mean. i know you're caught up in yourselves and your life, which that is NORMAL and NATURAL.. you can't live your life for someone else. but if i'm not part of what your life is.. don't pretend that i am. just .. let the truth surface and it's just so much easier that way.
so whoever reads this and wants to do something, i'm up for it.
i'm pretty much up for anything.
sooo, everyone thinks i'm so "crazy" and such a "crazy bitch" and blah blah blah. yeah. i am for the most part. i mean.. i'm not a fucking psycho stalker. but at least i'm not a doormat! i mean shit.. there are so many girls that just. i dunno. i just know i'm not one of them. and for all the stuff that gets said about me. and for all the people that would rather listen to what someone else has to say about me, instead of asking me about stuff or getting to know me themselves, it's whatever. i just want to have a good time. some people know the better side of me, and some people do have reason to hate me. lol. i can accept all of that. i just wish some people would give me a chance as a person, and make their own judgements.
haha. i dunno. maybe i'm projecting myself onto others.
like... i don't care what other people think for the most part.
of course i do to some extent, everyone does.
but. i just hate putting up with somebody else's self conciousness or whatever it is.
"people will think..."
fuck it. fuck what people think. if they don't know the truth, then why bother worrying about what they think? none of it matters in the end.
so. i dunno. maybe there is somebody out there that i like. lol. or maybe i need to meet someone that i do like.
i don't think i'm better than other people. and i do like the majority of people i meet. i honestly do like them. i guess i'm just a person that it is hard to be friends with... ? i don't know. i don't know what the deal is. it's not on my end. it seems like people are pre-programmed to not care for me. oh well.
i have worked all summer and been saving most of my money. and i have gone back to school shopping like every other day. lol. and i'm draining my bank account. i still won't look cute. lol.
whateverrrrrrrrrr man.
i want to buy a camera too.
and.
everything else.
lalalala.
somebody respond to all of my thoughts. |
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| mmmmmmmm. |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|07:28 pm] |
i'm finally beginning to be a person that i like. it is a lot better this way..
i'm excited for things coming up.
and i'm not looking back anymore.
and.. my favorite quote is "you will never find happiness if you only look for it behind you." |
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| let's see... |
[May. 28th, 2006|09:53 pm] |
who actually reads this!
well it's funny how i go through so many changes. like in 2 minutes. and it's all so cyclical and everything. and i must be crazy, because it's my normal. lol. i'm used to it. i understand myself. i just can't express myself sooooo. nobody else really understands me. lol, and yeah, you guys really don't.
but it's cool. because i always manage to have a little fun.
and while i might be a weak person, or at least thats how i see myself..
i'm independent. and i will make it, one way or another.
it's not like i think i'm all tight and stuff. this is just kinda me saying to myself that seriously... no matter what happens, i will still have my life to do something with. no matter what. as long as you are still alive, there is still hope, because there will always be SOMETHING for you to do.
true true true.
what i feel really strongly about is...
helping people. i really want to make a difference. not like "oh man i'm gonna change the world, start a revolution." but i want to touch individuals, mean something to them, help them help themselves. that seems like a job i would really enjoy. sitting down with people, talking things out, just studying how people differ and what they go through, and not tell them what to do, (because i wouldn't know what to tell them. and i wouldn't want to. stuff has to come from inside you.) but be there for them. that is what i want to do with my life and i feel pretty strongly about this just because of the people that have really helped me.
and i think something that i have really learned, and i've figured it out, and i don't really know if this is the complete lesson or not.. but everything has to come from inside you. you will find it in you. because honestly...... who else in the world do you really have? i want to be dependent on MYSELF just because i feel that is necessary.
i went to mass the other day. and it was enjoyable. i'm not a catholic.. i don't remember the last time i went to church. and i'm not a religious person. because i like to think for myself. but still, i can enjoy it. it was a beautiful church, and while i didn't listen much to what they were saying, it was just calming to sit in a pew and think to myself. and i don't see that as a sin, because it just gave me time to just sit. just sit. and think. and it was good.
and i like singing along.
and i had forgotten just how much i love to DANCE!
and i just want someone to like me for who i really am,
i'm not even all that crazy,
i'm not a very good leader,
because i want things MY way,
so i'll go my own way,
because i'm pretty much an individual.
at least in my mind.
and that's what matters to me...
why would it be any other way?
sooooo.
finally, i just want to say that while i truthfully mean all of these things right now, as every day goes on, the truth in these words may change and flex and become untrue, but the world changes everyday so yeah. shit happens. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2006|10:13 pm] |
| [ | feel |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | hear |
| | slide---goo goo dolls | ] |
a lot of things in my life are still making me sad.
for instance, my password.
=(
stupid stupid stupid stuff.
like writing this shit down makes it any better. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|10:42 am] |
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everything in my life right now makes me sad sad sad. =( |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
| [ | feel |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | hear |
| | Mike Jones | ] |
This is my new journal. =)
I always get mad and delete old entries from my other one,
so I just started a new one.
Add me.
<333 |
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